The Negotiator

My routine in the big city continued without any surprises. With the monotonous nature of work at office and the routine I had set for myself, I started to dream for something to happen, anything which will break it!

I had not given up my habit of replying to advertisements in the newspapers. But now I cut down and replied to only those posts, where I felt I stood a better chance. I also advertised myself in the situation wanted columns of the newspaper and got a good response for my first insertion. There was an offer from another transport company for the post of Stenographer, which I though would be better suited to me and I decided to appear there for an interview.

It was exactly after two months at my job and I received my second pay packet on the last working day. Next day was a Saturday, which I had chosen to appear for the interview. I went to the office early on Saturday, dressed in my best. The interviewer happened to be a Keraliate and he immediately liked me. He gave me a small dictation and asked me to type it out, which I did, without much difficulty. The dictation was good, as I could follow the words, without any difficulty as he expressed himself more or less in a manner, which was familiar to me. Then followed the interview, which was routine and at the end, he asked me what I would expect as salary. As I was getting only Rs.100/ in my previous post, I blurted out Rs.200/- a 100 percent jump, which according to me at that time was a good amount. He agreed with it after a brief consultation with his boss, the proprietor of the company, over the intercom, and he asked me to join from next Monday, which I readily agreed.

I had not attended my office that day and I phoned up them saying that I will not be coming to office any more. I also told my Manager about the offer from the new company and he wished me well. As I had received the salary, there was nothing to settle and I enjoyed the Sunday, thinking about my new post and company.

I was very happy to work in the new office, as the work was different. I had to type out the letters, which my boss dictated and this as the days passed, fell into a routine. The letters were more or less similar and I could cope with the workload too.

One time, when my boss went on leave, the company proprietor called me for dictation. He had a funny way of dictation - he never paused while dictating and went on dictating his replies either chewing the paan or smoking the cigar, while sallowing the words in between!

My joy of landing a good job with a reasonable pay was short lived. I received my first pay packet, which exactly contained Rs.200/-, as I had asked for. But next day my boss casually told me that the proprietor was prepared to pay Rs.400/- to who ever he appointed to handle the correspondence. Since I settled for Rs.200/-, he chuckled and said, that I got it.

To this day I cannot forget his mischievous smile when he told me that he could have recommended a higher pay, but I myself was to blame, for the loss!!!

The Golden List

I had prepared a list of things in my mind which I should do when I get my first pay. In fact I had this list ever since I was a small boy. I could say I grew up with the list, constantly updating the things I should do with my first pay. Since in those earlier days, I had no perception of the value of those things, it was easy to find fund for such expenses, within the limited income I had in mind. I was careful about the size of the pay packet that I may receive keeping in mind the level of education that I could get and our family background. Then suddenly, came the first day in my life when I got the first pay packet.

We were a family of three brothers, and two sisters, I being the eldest. While my grandmother managed the financial matters, my mother confined herself to cooking and taking care of us. This was the arrangement ever since I remember, as my father did not support our family, as is understood today. In this atmosphere, something more unknowingly had taken place. Whenever my grandmother found something out of her reach, her constant refrain was that I will be able to do it for her once I grew up and started earning. As I was very fond of my grandmother, I readily agreed with her and added those things to my ever growing list of things to do, once I attained that magic goal.

My grandmother used to receive the interest on her fixed deposit amount, and this amount, she used to keep in a beautifully carved wooden box, which had small, detachable closed partitions of varying sizes. These different sizes of small and smaller boxes offered her an opportunity to keep the money for different purposes. She never allowed herself the luxury to spend the money which she had reserved and kept separately for a purpose, however, pressing the need and the occasion. For those purposes, she had always some amount which was stored at the bottom of the box in small 'madisheelas' which she reluctantly took out for those unforeseen expenses. Those occasions rose quite frequently when all of us started schooling. On rare occasions, she went out to get some old yet small debts, which others had taken, but conveniently forgot to return as promised. During those trips, if it happened to be little away from our home, I used to accompany her. She treated me as an adult during those outside trips, but, in reality, I was only a child. On these trips also, I silently added one or two things to the list of things I will attend to, once I started earning. Her life was a constant struggle to adjust to ever growing demands with the constant limited income.

When I got my first pay packet, I opened it and slowly counted the money. It contained ten; ten rupee notes. I knew I cannot attempt even a part of the things which I had in my mind. On one side, I was feeling happy for the first pay I had, and on the other, I felt very miserable. On reaching home, I felt very sad and went to sleep early, without my usual small talk with my cousin brother, who was doing his engineering degree. I thought of my grandmother, and all the things I wanted to do for her. Next day morning I went to my friend and handed over him a sum of Rs.45/- to be sent as Money Order to my mother, and handed over the balance amount to my uncle.


When I thought about my list I found that even a fraction of things have not moved at all!

L [Cube]

Learning Life's Lessons

I get very anxious whenever my relations do not return home at their usual time. This can easily be avoided if they chose to communicate, but rarely do they do so. Often you don’t visualize the anxious moments which your loved ones faces until you are older, a bit wiser.

I remember an incident which was of my own making. I appeared for an interview, in a transport company, at the instance of my friend who had worked their earlier. He had a good rapport with the Manager and had spoken about me. The interview was quick, as I often had one word answers for most of his questions. Anyway, he took a sympathetic view and asked me to report to work from next day. I was overjoyed and started working there immediately.

I had quite a different picture of office in my mind perhaps from movies where working was pleasant and enjoying. Here I found the atmosphere totally different. The office was in a crowded part of the town and the building housed many firms like the one I had joined. For the first few days, I could not sit through the long office hours, so the question of finishing the work allotted to me became a difficult task. I had no habit of sitting at one place for a long period of time doing the same routine work allotted to me.

It was my duty to match the consignor and consignee copy of one particular consignment from each bundle and mark off in a register that the consignment booked at one place had been delivered at other end. Most of these documents had six digit distinct numbers and memorizing those numbers and finding the relative copy from other bundle, proved a difficult task for me as I am not really capable of retaining in memory six digit numbers. This slowed down my work considerably! The Manager was not very pleased about my work, as I had not shown any significant improvement even after one week.

But the funny thing was that I was also not too eager to continue in the post, having come to know from my colleague that he gets paid an amount of Rs.98/- even after continuing little more than one year in the post. He said he got a starting pay of Rs.95/- and an increase of Rs.3/- after a year. He usually had to borrow a sum of Rs.2/- on the salary day to be in order to get a note of hundred rupee denomination. [Though I was lucky again as the Manager gave me a starting salary of Rs.100/- I worked for him for little over two months.]

Anyways, after I started going to work, my uncle allowed a pocket money of Re.l for two days. I used to take this money from one corner place in the kitchen where uncle used to leave his entire salary. I used to take lunch from home and this money was sufficient for two days' bus fare, and tea, having purchased a season ticket for the train journey.

But one day, I spent the balance amount during lunch break over fruits and peanuts, which I was fond of. I had just 15 paise left in my pocket, which I knew will be sufficient for next day's morning bus fare. I thought, evening I could take a walk home, instead of taking the bus.

Next day, towards evening Manager had a round and he pulled me up for being slow. He insisted that I finish the work allotted to me, before I leave. I could not to say no to him, and this made me late. I missed my usual train as I reached the station late. Next train was late and it was around 9.30 PM when I got down at my destination. My bus stop where I boarded the bus was next to a shop where only 'Karumurai' was sold. This shop was in the process of closing. I wanted to buy a packet of peanuts from the shop, but it struck me that I have no money, even to take a bus, let alone buy an occasional packet of peanuts, which I used to indulge. I started for the long brisk walk home.

Unknown to me, my uncle had come home early from work and seeing that I had not returned home even after 9.30 PM, he set out immediately on foot in the direction of railway station. He was very concerned as I was quite new in that big city and he knew that I had no extra money, in case some unexpected things happen. I met him almost at the mid point of distance between our home and station. I still remember the look of relief on his face when he saw me first. But at the very next moment, he scolded me for being so late. When I reluctantly explained the situation, he shouted at me in anger and then asked me to take enough money from the kitchen from now on, so that I never face a situation like this.

I had learnt a great lesson on that night and I still fondly remember my uncle for the concern and that extra care he had shown.

A lost circle

For the last one week, newspapers and TV channels are carrying advertisements on the occasion of Akshyathritiya. The ads urge people to buy gold and jewelery - as it is believed that buying gold and jewelery on this auspicious occasion brings luck and prosperity throughout later part of the year. My idea would be that those who can buy gold and jewelery any time of the year, would definitely feel the prosperity. But if it is so, the reverse process would equally be true. Those who sell gold or jewelery any time of the year may feel bad about doing so especially if that gold or jewelery is associated with some particular occasion in their life.

I was coming into terms with my routine life in the city. I did my job very seriously - replying to each and every advertisements that I thought fitted with my qualifications. But unfortunately, I did not get any offer. I also saw some advertisements for job in which the candidate has to shell out few rupees towards examination fees. As I was short on cash, I ignored these advertisements at first. The process of these type of recruitment also takes time and I was in a hurry to land a job. So I had avoided responding to these type of ads, which was mainly from government/public sector institutions. But lack of response from the private sector, and coupled with the advice from relatives, I started responding to these advertisements also. Suddenly it increased the burden and I soon ran out of money. It was my uncle who helped me during these times, but I was aware of his limitations. I did not want to be a burden and I found a way out to make some money.

I owned a small gold ring that was brought by my father when I was still a kid. I can picture wearing it on my index finger when I was small. But gradually I had to shift it to my little finger as I grew older. Here too it was so tight that any attempt to remove it would cause pain, so I did not do anything. This was the ring that I sold one day to raise money for sending applications for jobs.

It did not occur to me that this small ring was the only piece of jewelry that I had from my father. My father had always lived in the present - he did not worry about the future! He spent the money, as soon as he had it, on anything, which got his fancy. It was his brother who sometimes paid off the debts, which my father in his years created. (About this aspect of his, I must write separately).

There is only one real deprivation, I decided this morning, and that is not to be able to give one's gifts to those one loves most. – May Sarton

I still feel guilty that I sold the only link between me and my father. The irony is that I had struggled and suffered, in the process of removing the ring from my little finger, to offer it for the sale. That pain still continues in my mind, whenever I think about it, as I have not succeeded in my efforts to get any such memento so far, as my father is no more.

Home away from home

Some wounds are hard to heal mainly because of its location on the body. By the time the wound heals, in spite of taking care, something hits it again and it bleeds all over. The emotional wounds are very similar in nature. They often never heal! This I find most painful.

While the shoe bite gave me many uncomfortable moments for almost a week, soon after my arrival in the city that never sleeps, the feeling of separation from my mother, brothers and sisters who I had left behind, caused more psychological pain, which I had not imagined. I found out soon that this wound takes more time to heal. More precisely, it never went away.

I started sharing the amenities in which there were already seven inmates. The front room measured only 10 x 10 and the back room, which also doubled as kitchen during day, was of the about 10 x 8. It also contained a 'mori' which served as bath room. Inside there was no toilet and one had to go outside, where there was a toilet block. This block had only two toilets for the entire 'chawl' consisting of six rooms which itself was home to six different families with varying size of members in each family. You can imagine the nightmare if all the members of each family wakes up at the same time and start using the toilet facilities!
More over, the same toilets were used by the owners of the chawl, who resided in a separate house, surprisingly devoid of toilets. I still remember the scene when the old lady from the landlord's house was being escorted to this toilet block outside. Because of her age, she tended to be a slow walker and sometimes assisted by her granddaughter, someone from the chawl used to beat her first and she had to wait for her turn outside. Even today I have no idea why they did not go for a toilet of their own inside their house, as money did not seem an issue to them. Even at that time, they used to receive a good amount of rent from their tenants.

Once the members of my room left for work and school, my work began in earnest. Having finished my morning chores, I used to go through the 'wanted' columns (classifieds) of the newspaper first and the moment I found a post suitable for me, I used to mark the same and later send a reply to them. Such replies, where the advertiser mentioned box numbers of the newspaper, were carried by my uncle next day, some replies, were sent to the advertiser direct which I posted at the post office daily. This was the time when the postman having sorted the letters received that day, used to hand over the letters to the waiting addressees, who sometimes came to the post office to collect them.

Meanwhile, I had not heard from my mother for quite a while. I had not sent a letter to her on my arrival in Bombay - in my hope that I would land a job soon and would be able to surprise her with the news. But I found out that it was a difficult task to achieve and my resolve to send a letter only after getting a job remained a stumbling block in my mind. I longed for news from my native place, and I guess, she chose to wait for my letter. I have no idea what finally prompted her to write to me first, almost a month later. Though, the moment I saw the letter, a lump was formed in my heart. I had a picture of the contents of the letter even before I opened it and it was more or less the same, of what I had expected to find.

Even today I find that lack of news from my dear and near ones opens the same wound in my mind.

A new begining

The other day, while shopping, for a footwear with a fancy design,got my attention and I purchased it. Being a person soon to attain the status of senior citizen, I was little hesistant to spend on a fancy item like this, but I soon overcome the hesitation. For many days, I had put off this particular purchase, as after my retirement from service, I did not give too much attention to my appearance. Not that I had always taken that extra care in my clothes, before stepping out of the house.

I choose to wear the new footwear while going out the next day. Soon I hurt myself and I could not walk a step further wearing the shoes. I removed them and started walking barefoot. It reminded me of the the day I landed in Mumbai; almost three and half decades back!

I had finished my schooling and passed shorthand & typewriting examinations. Soon I was trying to get a job. However hard I tried, my efforts did not materialize. Some of my relatives were in Mumbai and I chose to write to them. Soon my uncle asked me to come to Mumbai and you guessed it right,I purchased my brand new shoe for my trip. My grandmother insisted that I carry by bedding, as I was going to stay with my relations. Those days, the journey involved more than two days tedious traveling, as one had to change the train at Arkonam. Besides the bedding, I carried some of my favourite things, mostly of agriculture produce, and it was quite a heavy load. As my first long journey progressed, with changing of trains, I thought many times of abandoning the bedding, as I found it difficult to keep it in the crowded train.

After I reached Mumbai late in the evening, my feets were paining due to shoe-bites and I removed the shoes. I got down from the train, carrying my shoes in the left hand and balancing other luggages with my right. My ordeal had only started, as evening rush hour in the suburban trains had begun. Some how I got inside the train with the shoe in one hand and luggages in the other hand. Thus began my new adventure [in pain I might add] in one of the wonderful cities of the world ...