The Golden List

I had prepared a list of things in my mind which I should do when I get my first pay. In fact I had this list ever since I was a small boy. I could say I grew up with the list, constantly updating the things I should do with my first pay. Since in those earlier days, I had no perception of the value of those things, it was easy to find fund for such expenses, within the limited income I had in mind. I was careful about the size of the pay packet that I may receive keeping in mind the level of education that I could get and our family background. Then suddenly, came the first day in my life when I got the first pay packet.

We were a family of three brothers, and two sisters, I being the eldest. While my grandmother managed the financial matters, my mother confined herself to cooking and taking care of us. This was the arrangement ever since I remember, as my father did not support our family, as is understood today. In this atmosphere, something more unknowingly had taken place. Whenever my grandmother found something out of her reach, her constant refrain was that I will be able to do it for her once I grew up and started earning. As I was very fond of my grandmother, I readily agreed with her and added those things to my ever growing list of things to do, once I attained that magic goal.

My grandmother used to receive the interest on her fixed deposit amount, and this amount, she used to keep in a beautifully carved wooden box, which had small, detachable closed partitions of varying sizes. These different sizes of small and smaller boxes offered her an opportunity to keep the money for different purposes. She never allowed herself the luxury to spend the money which she had reserved and kept separately for a purpose, however, pressing the need and the occasion. For those purposes, she had always some amount which was stored at the bottom of the box in small 'madisheelas' which she reluctantly took out for those unforeseen expenses. Those occasions rose quite frequently when all of us started schooling. On rare occasions, she went out to get some old yet small debts, which others had taken, but conveniently forgot to return as promised. During those trips, if it happened to be little away from our home, I used to accompany her. She treated me as an adult during those outside trips, but, in reality, I was only a child. On these trips also, I silently added one or two things to the list of things I will attend to, once I started earning. Her life was a constant struggle to adjust to ever growing demands with the constant limited income.

When I got my first pay packet, I opened it and slowly counted the money. It contained ten; ten rupee notes. I knew I cannot attempt even a part of the things which I had in my mind. On one side, I was feeling happy for the first pay I had, and on the other, I felt very miserable. On reaching home, I felt very sad and went to sleep early, without my usual small talk with my cousin brother, who was doing his engineering degree. I thought of my grandmother, and all the things I wanted to do for her. Next day morning I went to my friend and handed over him a sum of Rs.45/- to be sent as Money Order to my mother, and handed over the balance amount to my uncle.


When I thought about my list I found that even a fraction of things have not moved at all!